You have read about the positive qualities to look for and now we will present the negative qualities to avoid.
You may have read about warning signs to look for in men you are considering dating, in terms of tendency toward violence and so forth. There are too many scriptures contrasting Godly with Ungodly men to cover here. This document cites many warning signs listed in scripture written about ungodly women.
A man can also be a harlot,
but since most of the below scriptures refer to heterosexual females, I will
write within that context to avoid confusion.
Manipulation is a crafty type of rebellion that usurps
the man’s authority. Like witchcraft, it
tricks leaders into believing and allowing matriarchic falsehoods, enabling the
harlot to get her way at the man’s expense.
Below manipulation appears as “crafty intent”.
Proverbs 7
New
International Version 1984 (NIV1984)
4 Say to wisdom, “You are
my sister,”
and
call understanding your kinsman;
5 they
will keep you from the adulteress,
from
the wayward wife with her seductive words.
6 At
the window of my house
I
looked out through the lattice.
7 I
saw among the simple,
I
noticed among the young men,
a
youth who lacked judgment.
8 He
was going down the street near her corner,
walking
along in the direction of her house
9 at
twilight, as
the day was fading,
as
the dark of night set in.
10 Then out came a woman to meet him,
dressed like a prostitute and with crafty
intent.
11 (She is loud and defiant,
her feet never stay at home;
12 now in the street, now in the squares,
at every corner she lurks.)
13 She took hold of him and kissed him
and with a brazen face she said:
14 “I have fellowship offerings[a] at home;
today I fulfilled my vows.
15 So I came out to meet you;
I looked for you and have found you!
16 I have covered my bed
with colored linens from
17 I have perfumed my bed
with myrrh, aloes and cinnamon.
18 Come, let’s drink deep of love till morning;
let’s enjoy ourselves with love!
19 My husband is not at home;
he has gone on a long journey.
20 He took his purse filled with money
and will not be home till full moon.”
21 With persuasive words she
led him astray;
she seduced him with
her smooth talk.
22 All at once he followed her
like an ox going to the slaughter,
like a deer[b] stepping into a noose[c]
23 till an arrow pierces his liver,
like a bird darting into a snare,
little knowing it will cost him his life.
24 Now then, my sons, listen to me;
pay attention to what I say.
25 Do not let your heart turn to her ways
or stray into her paths.
26 Many are the victims she has brought down;
her slain are a mighty throng.
27 Her house is a highway to the grave,[d]
leading down to the chambers of death.
Seduction is a type of
manipulation that harlots use on men they are not married to.
New International
Version 1984 (NIV1984)
30 “‘How weak-willed you
are, declares the Sovereign Lord, when you do all these things, acting like a brazen prostitute! 31 When you built your
mounds at the head of every street and made your lofty shrines in every public square,
you were unlike a prostitute, because you scorned payment.
Ezekiel 16:33
Every prostitute receives a fee, but you give gifts to
all your lovers, bribing them to come to you from everywhere for your illicit
favors.
Whether they charge or even
pay a fee, seducing a man into fornication is seduction.
Is the most common way to
begin seduction.
New
International Version 1984 (NIV1984)
Yet
you have the brazen look of a prostitute;
you refuse to blush with shame.
Few women will ever admit
that they dress seductively. They
“refuse to blush with shame”. Just avoid
them if they dress (Isa 3:12-24) that way.
Proverbs 6
New
International Version 1984 (NIV1984)
24 keeping you from the immoral woman,
from the smooth
tongue of the wayward wife.
25 Do not lust in your heart after her beauty
or let her captivate you with her eyes,
26 for the prostitute reduces you to a loaf of bread,
and the adulteress preys upon your very life.
The smooth tongue refers to:
Acting like perverted things
(matriarchy, fornication, immodest dress) are normal is common in the
New
International Version 1984 (NIV1984)
But
you have lived as a prostitute with many lovers —
would you now return to me?”
declares the Lord.
2 “Look up to the barren heights and
see.
Is there any place where you have not been ravished?
By the roadside you sat waiting for lovers,
sat like a nomad[a] in the
desert.
You have defiled the land
with your prostitution and
wickedness.
3 Therefore the showers have been withheld,
and no spring rains have
fallen.
Yet you have the brazen look of a
prostitute;
you refuse to blush
with shame.
Ezekiel 16:30
“‘How weak-willed you are, declares the Sovereign
LORD, when you do all these things, acting
like a brazen prostitute!
Avoid women with the above qualities. Do not try to change a brazen person. Do not try to change your date. If you do not like what you found, look
somewhere else. Do not expect that God
will change them. God would likely have
already changed her before you came into the picture if she wanted Him to. Discipleship on these or the below issues
should occur before dating, because they will make any dating
relationship/friendship a serious spiritual risk to be avoided.
Clamour is excessive
-especially loud- talking used to control conversations toward the speaker’s
self-ambition. It is usually complaining
about how they did not get what they want, establishing how right they are, and
promoting the way that they want things done.
Ephesians 4:31
Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with
all malice:
When a woman complains this
way against her man, it is called contending.
She is contending for the leadership role that God already gave the
man.
Once she establishes her
opinions or preferences, she will remind the man too frequently to follow her
leadership. This is called
“nagging”. God likens it to dripping,
because it is incessant and annoying.
Proverbs 19:13
… the contentions of a wife are a constant dripping.
Proverbs 27:15
A constant dripping on a day of steady rain
And a contentious woman are alike;
Avoid women who are
complainers unless you want to watch it turn into contention and nagging later.
Jude 1:16
These are murmurers, complainers, walking after their own lusts; and their
mouth speaketh great swelling words, having men's persons in admiration because
of advantage.
Having your own identity
means commitment and consistency within it – which others can understand and
relate to. This is being steadfast. Most people are too shallow to bother with
that.
It is easier to “say what
you need to say” in order to get whatever you want at the time. This makes you
very inconsistent and difficult to deal with.
Proverbs 24:21
My son, fear thou the LORD and the king: and
meddle not with them that are given to change:
The cure is purifying their
heart and removing idols such as extreme selfishness.
James 4:8
Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye
sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded.
That might take years. Avoid them.
King James Version
(KJV)
5 My
son, attend unto my wisdom, and bow thine ear to my understanding:
2 That thou mayest regard
discretion, and that thy lips may keep knowledge.
3 For the lips of a
strange woman drop as an honeycomb, and her
mouth is smoother than oil:
4 But her end is bitter
as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword.
5 Her feet go down to
death; her steps take hold on hell.
6 Lest thou shouldest
ponder the path of life, her ways are
moveable, that thou canst not
know them.
7 Hear me now therefore,
O ye children, and depart not from the words of my mouth.
8 Remove thy way far from her,
and come not nigh the door of her house:
9 Lest thou give thine
honour unto others, and thy years unto the cruel:
10 Lest strangers be
filled with thy wealth; and thy labours be in the house of a stranger;
11 And thou mourn at the
last, when thy flesh and thy body are consumed,
12 And say, How have I
hated instruction, and my heart despised reproof;
Look for track record of
making and keeping the right commitments; religiously, financially, and
socially.
James 1:8
A double minded man is unstable in all his ways.
|
Harlots |
Wives/ future wives |
|
Stubborn (Pr 7:11) |
Submit ( |
|
Given to change, inconsistent, doubleminded, disobedient, movable ways |
Obey husband (I Peter 5-6) |
|
Fear drives them to try to control men |
do not give way to fear (I
Peter 6) |
|
Loud (Pr 7:11), clamorous |
Have gentle and quiet
spirit (I Peter 4) |
|
Likes to be seen in public, not a helpful hard-worker |
be busy at home (Titus
2:3-5) |
|
Manipulation/Rebellion/Witchcraft (Nahum 3:4) |
Be subject to their
husbands (Titus 2:3-5) |
|
Matriarchical (Isa 3:12) |
Respect husband (Eph 5:24) |
|
|
|
Of poor choices.
New International
Version 1984 (NIV1984)
26 My son, give me your heart
and let your eyes keep to my ways,
27 for a prostitute is a deep
pit
and a wayward wife is a narrow
well.
28 Like a bandit she lies in wait,
and multiplies the unfaithful among men.
New International
Version 1984 (NIV1984)
3 A man who loves wisdom brings joy to his father,
but a companion of prostitutes squanders his wealth.
Proverbs
7:10 And, behold, there met him a woman with the attire of an harlot, and
subtil of heart.11 (She is loud and stubborn;
her feet abide not in her house:12 Now is she without, now in the streets, and lieth in wait at every
corner.)13 So she caught him, and kissed him, and with an impudent face said unto him,14 I have peace offerings
with me; this day have I payed my ows.15 Therefore came I forth to meet thee, diligently to seek thy face,
and I have found thee.16 I have decked my bed with coverings of tapestry, with carved
works, with fine linen of Egypt.17 I have perfumed my bed with myrrh, aloes, and cinnamon.18 Come, let us take our
fill of love until the morning: let us solace ourselves with loves.19 For the goodman is not
at home, he is gone a long journey:20 He hath taken a bag of money with him, and will come home at the
day appointed.21 With her much fair speech
she caused him to yield, with the flattering of her lips she forced him.22 He goeth after her
straightway, as an ox goeth to the slaughter, or as a fool to the correction of
the stocks;23 Till a dart strike through his liver; as a bird hasteth to the
snare, and knoweth not that it is for his life.24 Hearken unto me now
therefore, O ye children, and attend to the words of my mouth.25 Let not thine heart
decline to her ways, go not astray in her paths.26 For she hath cast down many
wounded: yea, many strong men have been slain by her.27 Her house is the way to hell, going down to the
chambers of death.
Isa 3:12-24
12 Youths
oppress my people, women rule over them. O my people, your guides lead
you astray; they turn you from the path.
13 The LORD
takes his place in court; he rises to judge the people.
14 The LORD
enters into judgment against the elders and leaders of his people: "It is
you who have ruined my vineyard; the
plunder from the poor is in your houses.
15 What do you mean by crushing my people and
grinding the faces of the poor?" declares the Lord, the LORD
Almighty.
16 The LORD
says, "The women of
17 Therefore
the Lord will bring sores on the heads of the women of
18 In that
day the Lord will snatch away their finery: the bangles and headbands and
crescent necklaces,
19 the earrings
and bracelets and veils,
20 the
headdresses and ankle chains and sashes, the perfume bottles and charms,
21 the signet
rings and nose rings,
22 the fine
robes and the capes and cloaks, the purses
23 and
mirrors, and the linen garments and tiaras and shawls.
24 Instead of
fragrance there will be a stench; instead of a sash, a rope; instead of well-dressed
hair, baldness; instead of fine clothing, sackcloth; instead of beauty,
branding. (NIV)
Does this sound
familiar? While I wish it was alien to modern culture, or Church
culture, it is not. Women use provocative clothing and accessories
to entice men/boys into a relationship where they control the man, or “rule
over them” (v12). This is the direct opposite of God’s pronouncement
in Gen:
Genesis 3:16
To the woman he said, "I will greatly increase your pains
in childbearing; with pain you will give birth to
children. Your desire will be for your husband,
and he will rule over you."
(Whole Chapter: Genesis 3 In context: Genesis 3:15-17)
Don’t date or marry a girl
because you:
That would be selfishly
using them for what they do, not who they are. A woman qualified to be a wife will already
possess the qualities listed above under wife, and not have the other
qualities. This is who she is.
Find behavioral evidence of
wifely qualities before you spend time with a girl. The wrong girl is good at sucking you into a
relationship that you did not initiate – and may not want. The right girl is usually hard to get.
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