In verse
11, Jesus clarifies that only those to whom the word
in verse 10 has been given, can accept it.
Matthew 19:10
10The disciples said to him, "If this is the situation between
a husband and wife, it is better not to marry."
11Jesus replied, "Not everyone can
accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. 12For
some are eunuchs because they were born that way; others were made that way by
men; and others have renounced marriage[c]because of the kingdom of heaven. The one
who can accept this should accept it."
Matthew
19:11-13 (in Context) Matthew
19 (Whole Chapter)
Has God given
you a word not to marry? No? Well, then
maybe you are like the rest of us.
Paul also
commends those, who like himself, are able to “renounce marriage because of the
kingdom of heaven” below in verse 1. Verse
7 and 8 imply that these people have a special “gift from God”-- a gift of
singleness. But he lays down a more general rule for everyone else in verse
2.
1 Cor 7:1-16
1 Now for the
matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry.
2 But since
there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife,
and each woman her own husband.
3 The husband
should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her
husband.
4 The wife's
body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the
husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife.
5 Do not
deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may
devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not
tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
6 I say this
as a concession, not as a command.
7 I wish that
all men were as I am. But each man has his own gift from God; one has this
gift, another has that.
8 Now to the
unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am.
9 But if they
cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to
burn with passion.
10 To the
married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate
from her husband.
11 But if she
does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a
husband must not divorce his wife.
12 To the rest
I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer
and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her.
13 And if a
woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her,
she must not divorce him.
14 For the
unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his
wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing
husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.
15 But if the
unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such
circumstances; God has called us to live in peace.
16 How do you
know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband,
whether you will save your wife? (NIV)
Some of the
following instructions seem to contradict those above, but keep in mind that
they are given “Because of the present
crisis”.
1 Cor 7:25-40
25 Now about virgins:
I have no command from the Lord, but I give a judgment as one who by the Lord's
mercy is trustworthy.
26 Because of the present crisis, I think
that it is good for you to remain as you are.
27 Are you
married? Do not seek a divorce. Are you unmarried? Do not look for a wife.
28 But if you
do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But
those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you
this.
29 What I mean,
brothers, is that the time is short. From now on those who have wives should
live as if they had none;
30 those who
mourn, as if they did not; those who are happy, as if they were not; those who
buy something, as if it were not theirs to keep;
31 those who
use the things of the world, as if not engrossed in them. For this world in its
present form is passing away.
32 I would like
you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's
affairs-- how he can please the Lord.
33 But a
married man is concerned about the affairs of this world-- how he can please
his wife--
34 and his
interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the
Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit.
But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world-- how she can
please her husband.
35 I am saying
this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right
way in undivided devotion to the Lord.
36 If anyone
thinks he is acting improperly toward the virgin he is engaged to, and if she
is getting along in years and he feels he ought to marry, he should do as he
wants. He is not sinning. They should get married.
37 But the man
who has settled the matter in his own mind, who is under no compulsion but has
control over his own will, and who has made up his mind not to marry the
virgin-- this man also does the right thing.
38 So then, he
who marries the virgin does right, but he who does not marry her does even
better.
39 A woman is
bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free
to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord.
40 In my
judgment, she is happier if she stays as she is-- and I think that I too have
the Spirit of God. (NIV)
Many girls
do not know whether they have the gift of singleness or not and consequently do
nothing to prepare for marriage.
1 Tim 5:11-16
11 As for
younger widows, do not put them on such a list. For when their sensual desires
overcome their dedication to Christ, they want to marry.
12 Thus they
bring judgment on themselves, because they have broken their first pledge.
13 Besides,
they get into the habit of being idle and going about from house to house. And
not only do they become idlers, but also gossips and busybodies, saying things
they ought not to.
14 So I counsel younger widows to marry, to
have children, to manage their homes and to give the enemy no opportunity for
slander.
15 Some have in
fact already turned away to follow Satan.
16 If any woman
who is a believer has widows in her family, she should help them and not let
the church be burdened with them, so that the church can help those widows who
are really in need. (NIV)
Another
translation renders verse 14 thusly:
I will therefore that the younger women marry,
bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary
to speak reproachfully.
So God’s
general will is clear to all of us who have not been given a gift of
singleness. We should marry.