Humanists place a great deal of faith in “talking things out”.  This may be because they believe that man is inherently good, and that he already has the answers to life’s problems within himself. 



While interpersonal honesty is important in relationships, Christians should not have so much faith in themselves.  Instead they should place their faith and hope for answers to life’s problems in God’s words—not their own words. 


Prov 4:4

4                     he taught me and said, "Lay hold of my words with all your heart; keep my commands and you will live.  (NIV)


But the scriptures warn us about our own words:


Prov 10:19

19                 When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise.  (NIV)


Prov 12:18

18                 Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.  (NIV)


Prov 17:27‑28

27   A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even‑tempered.

28   Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue. (NIV)


Ps 19:14

14                 May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.  (NIV)


Prov 29:20

20   Do you see a man who speaks in haste? There is more hope for a fool than for him. (NIV)


Eccl 6:10‑11

10   Whatever exists has already been named, and what man is has been known; no man can contend with one who is stronger than he.

11   The more the words, the less the meaning, and how does that profit anyone? (NIV)


Eccl 9:17

17                 The quiet words of the wise are more to be heeded than the shouts of a ruler of fools.  (NIV)


Eccl 10:12‑14

12   Words from a wise man's mouth are gracious, but a fool is consumed by his own lips.

13   At the beginning his words are folly; at the end they are wicked madness‑‑

14   and the fool multiplies words. No one knows what is coming‑‑ who can tell him what will happen after him? (NIV)


Micah 7:5

5    Do not trust a neighbor; put no confidence in a friend. Even with her who lies in your embrace be careful of your words. (NIV)


Matt 12:36‑37

36   But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken.

37   For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned." (NIV)


2 Pet 2:18

18   For they mouth empty, boastful words and, by appealing to the lustful desires of sinful human nature, they entice people who are just escaping from those who live in error. (NIV)


James 1:19-20

19   My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,

20   for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. (NIV)


2 Timothy 2
16Avoid godless chatter, because those who indulge in it will become more and more ungodly.





The potential for harming yourself and others that lies in your tongue is a force to reckon with.


Ps 34:13-14

13         keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking lies.

14         Turn from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it.  (NIV)


Ps 39:1

1          I said, "I will watch my ways and keep my tongue from sin; I will put a muzzle on my mouth as long as the wicked are in my presence."  (NIV)


Prov 15:2

2          The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouth of the fool gushes folly.  (NIV)


Prov 15:7

7          The lips of the wise spread knowledge; not so the hearts of fools.  (NIV)


Prov 17:28

28         Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue.  (NIV)


Prov 25:23

23         As a north wind brings rain, so a sly tongue brings angry looks.  (NIV)


James 1:26

26         If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless.  (NIV)


James 3:1-10

1          Not many of you should presume to be teachers, my brothers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly.

2          We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check.

3          When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal.

4          Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go.

5          Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark.

6          The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.

7          All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man,

8          but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.

9          With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness.

10         Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be.  (NIV)


1 Pet 3:10-11

10         For, "Whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceitful speech.

11         He must turn from evil and do good; he must seek peace and pursue it.  (NIV)


I Jn 3:18-19

18         Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.

19         This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence  (NIV)


Being Quiet

Is crucial to hearing God’s voice, and doing His will.  You should not babble at God either.


Eccl 5:1‑3

1          Guard your steps when you go to the house of God. Go near to listen rather than to offer the sacrifice of fools, who do not know that they do wrong.

2          Do not be quick with your mouth, do not be hasty in your heart to utter anything before God. God is in heaven and you are on earth, so let your words be few.

3          As a dream comes when there are many cares, so the speech of a fool when there are many words. (NIV)


Effective communication starts with God, then you, then others.  Click here for an explanation.


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