There is no doubt that children are a blessing
from God, regardless of how they get here. We see an adulterous
relationship between David and Bathsheba even in the lineage of Jesus.
Also, in His genealogies we find Rahab, the prostitute. These
examples demonstrate God’s ultimate power to bring His will about for the sake
of the obedient, in the midst of a sinful world.
The purpose of
this document is to refute some erroneous teachings regarding children.
Here is a
passage you have likely never heard preached on:
29 What I mean, brothers and sisters, is that the time is short. From now on those who have wives should live as if they do not;
Verse 29 is in
the middle of Chapter 7, where Paul speaks of balancing the conflicts between
spiritual and married life. Paul says that it is better not to marry,
unless you have to marry to prevent yourself from “burning with passion”.
Is this a sordid recommendation of the institution of marriage,
considering that weddings and funerals are preacher’s biggest jobs? What
implications does this have on God’s commands for Israelites to multiply?
Are they binding on Gentiles today?
If God wanted to
multiply Gentile babies, Paul would have told the all the Corinthians to get married
and have at least 3 kids (multiply), as God commanded Adam:
And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.
Genesis 1:27-29 (in Context) Genesis 1 (Whole Chapter)
A similar
command was given to Noah. In Genesis 48:3, Jacob recounts how God
promised to multiply Jacob (aka
In contrast,
when we arrive at New Testament command to the Gentile Church of Corinth, it is
clear that God was not trying to multiply Gentile babies here. So, it
appears that 1 Corinthians 7 relegates God’s previous Adamic, Noahic, and
Mosaic commands to multiply to previous (and now fulfilled) covenants.
On the extreme
hand, I heard a Catholic Priest told a couple that if they did not want to have
kids, they should not have ever got married. Ouch.
29 What I mean, brothers and sisters, is that the time is short. From now on those who have wives should live as if they do not;
When Apostles
and Disciples were separated from their wives while travelling with Jesus, they
were living as though they had no wife. They all were martyred for the
Gospel.
And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wife or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life.
Matthew 19:28-30 (in Context) Matthew 19 (Whole Chapter)
28 Peter said to him, “We have left all we had to follow you!”
29 “Truly I tell you,” Jesus said to them, “no one who has left home or wife or brothers or sisters or parents or children for the sake of the kingdom of God 30 will fail to receive many times as much in this age, and in the age to come eternal life.”
25 Now about virgins: I have no command from the Lord, but I give a judgment as one who by the Lord’s mercy is trustworthy. 26 Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for a man to remain as he is. 27 Are you pledged to a woman? Do not seek to be released. Are you free from such a commitment? Do not look for a wife.
Paul mentions a
“present crisis”. Those can make it difficult for women to get pregnant.
Stress can make it more difficult for a couple to be fertile. Also,
by not being with their wives, the Apostles above were choosing to not
have children, for a time. Many of today’s Church leaders would likely
condemn Jesus and the Apostles for failing to put “family first”.
Sometimes when Jesus calls people, there is a “no children
allowed” attached to the call. Matthew 19:29 makes this clear.
Also, Luke 18:28-30 makes it clear that sometimes wives can’t come along
either. So the question that Paul answers in Cor 7 is “Why have them?”
Paul views marriage as a concession for Christians who cannot go without
sex: A God-approved way for Christians to have monogamous sex.
There is no direct mention of children in this long passage on marriage.
However, if a Christian couple marries, then gets a Matthew 19:29 call, they will hate
to leave their kids - Unless they do not have any.
29 What I mean, brothers and sisters, is that the time is short. From now on those who have wives should live as if they do not;
In very real
terms, Double Income No Kids couples are very flexible in terms where
they can live and travel. You know what they say, “With God, availability
is the most powerful ability”.
God does not need you to have children in order to make you a
Godly parent.
James
1:27
Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look
after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself
from being polluted by the world.
James
1:26-27 (in Context) James
1 (Whole Chapter)
The world bears and looks after its own children. Christians have a higher calling to look
after orphans and widows.
John
19:25-27 (New International Version, ©2010)
25 Near the cross of Jesus
stood his mother, his mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary
Magdalene. 26 When Jesus saw his mother there, and the disciple whom
he loved standing nearby, he said to her, “Woman,[a] here is your son,” 27 and to the
disciple, “Here is your mother.” From that time on, this disciple took her into
his home.
I’m not suggesting that newlyweds take in orphans and widows.
Deuteronomy 24:3-5 (New International Version,
©2010)
5 If a man has recently
married, he must not be sent to war or have any other duty laid on him. For one year he is to be free to stay
at home and bring happiness to the wife he has married.
However, many preachers pressure newly married young men to try to
have kids right away.
Consider when you think of how to spend your life:
I can not say that being married or having children, or any family
obligations, exempt anyone from obeying these types of commands:
The Cost of
Following Jesus
57 As they were walking along
the road, a man said to him, “I will follow you wherever you go.”
58 Jesus replied, “Foxes have
dens and birds have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head.”
59 He said to another man,
“Follow me.”
But he replied, “Lord, first
let me go and bury my father.”
60 Jesus said to him, “Let
the dead bury their own dead, but you go and proclaim the
61 Still another said, “I
will follow you, Lord; but first let me go back and say goodbye to my family.”
62 Jesus replied, “No one who
puts a hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the
It is good to look at what the Bible actually says about marriage
before you tackle such issues as:
I’m not suggesting that we focus on these questions. I think we should focus on what the Bible focuses
on, “..keeping God’s commands (1
Corinthians 7:19).
In the New Testament, the Bible does not focus on children at all,
and especially not as a necessary aspect of marriage. In one case, Paul
recommends that some widows get married and have children, so that they will be
busy instead of being “busy bodies”.
1
Timothy 5:14
So I counsel younger widows to marry, to have children, to manage their
homes and to give the enemy no opportunity for slander.
1
Timothy 5:13-15 (in Context) 1
Timothy 5 (Whole Chapter)
As far as I know, this is the only verse in the entire New
Testament with both marriage and children in it. Oddly, it almost seems like the young widows
do not have children yet, so Paul is recommending that they become housewives
with kids, so that they will be busier. So
they were childless in their first marriage to their now deceased husband. Here again, we have a hint of Christian
married couples in the New Testament with no children.
Jesus and Paul, who are attributed by Christians and Historians as
founding Christianity, respectively, were not married and had no children. There are such a wide range of teachings on
these subjects because there is such a great deal of liberty for Christians to
make choices within Biblical limits on topics where the New Testament is
largely silent. What is important is taking
care of what the Bible DOES say first,
before you decide about such debatable matters.
Return to marriage
Return to thisGospel.com's home page.